*we react to events with both thoughts and feelings.
feelings are emotions, and sensations and they are different
from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations and convictions.
*be specific, rather than general about the way you feel.
specify the degree of the feelings, as you will reduce the
chances of being misunderstood.
*RESPECTFULLY confront someone when you are bothered by his
behavior.
_EXPRESS DIFFICULT feelings without attacking the self-esteem
of the person.
**Communicate difficult feelings in a manner that minimizes
the other person's need to become defensive, and increase
the likelihood the person will listen.
I feel statements vs I Messages
I feel... Ex: "I felt embarassed when you told our friends how
were pinching pennies" or "I liked it when you helped with the dishes
without being asked" or "I feel hurt and dissappointed you forgot
our anniversary."
vs
I messages
*it's called an I message because the focus is on you, and the message
is about yourself. this is in contrast to a You message which focuses
on and gives a message about the other person.
_when using I messages you are taking responsibility for your own
feelings, rather than accusing other people of making you feel that way.
---there are 4 parts to an I message
1) When...describe the person's behavior you are reacting to an objective,
non-blameful, and non-judgemental manner.
2) The effects are... Describe the concrete or tangible effects of the
behavior. (this is the most important part for the other to undestand...
your reaction.)
3) I feel... say how you feel. (this is important to prevent the buildup
of feelings.)
4) I'd prefer...tell the person what you'd rather or what you'd prefer
but you can omit this part of it is obvious.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
tips for web design
I shall consider this as a web design tutorial because its rather more than a tip ;) Efficient layouts are of relatively high importance in todays sites but there are still some who do not take the necessary action needed to ensure that the layout of their site is user friendly.
Efficient :
"user friendly"
"gives what the visitor needs fast"
"fulfilling the purpose of the site"
"benefiting the owner of the site with whats intended eg. sales"
Not many people understand or bother to research on the concept of efficient layouts. It does not only apply to websites/Internet but everything that can be read examples being :
Books
Newspapers
Magazines
Brochures
This web design tutorial is going to zoom in specifically to creating website layouts that are efficient.
Web Users Do not read
Web Users do not read, they scan. Research findings by Jakob Nielsen shows that users of the internet/web do not really read in depth but scan through. It has been analysed that these people read a particular web page in an F shaped pattern from left to right.
Go over to the following page for a more detailed explaination on the F-shaped pattern theory : Jakob Nielsen's F-shaped theory.
From this F-shaped theory, it is found that having in mind the following while planning your site's layout is important :
Users would only scan your text in general
Place the important stuff at the top as that is the most concentrated time spent
10 seconds is what it takes to make an impression on screen
Visit the site above for information on web usability, I highly recommend it as the guy is qualified and recommended by many magazines.
Plan, plan , plan
Planning is very important and I cant stress how further important it is. Some tips/steps on planning efficient layouts :
Get a paper and a pencil. (Yes it is worthy of a step because it is important ;))
Write out your target audience.
Research on the net regarding behavior patterns of your target audience. Include also reading patterns and attention spans.
Mark out areas on the "paper site" where you are almost sure your audience would not miss.
Put labels of the purpose of your site in these areas. (for example : content, sales, images. But STRICTLY NOT ADS.)
Block in other less important areas like navigation, ads, branding, logos.
Make sure your layout sort of conforms to the rough F-shaped pattern for your important stuff. Also, do not forget behavior patterns and such of your target audience.
Open up a graphic editing program like Photoshop and mark in what is on your paper on screen.
Your layout is done. You can move on to designing now!
Sealing the deal
To ensure that your site works as how you planned it to be, gather a group of friends, be it offline or online, and get them to go to your site. Ask them questions after that like "How easy was it to get to -insert important stuff here- ?" or "What did you wanted to do with the site?" and if the general consensus was what your site was intended for, then congratulations.
Otherwise, spend some more time researching and coming up with a final layout that works. It takes time yes, but think of the benefits you would be getting off it. After all, Time is of an investment. ;) I hope you've gained something from this web design tutorials.
Efficient :
"user friendly"
"gives what the visitor needs fast"
"fulfilling the purpose of the site"
"benefiting the owner of the site with whats intended eg. sales"
Not many people understand or bother to research on the concept of efficient layouts. It does not only apply to websites/Internet but everything that can be read examples being :
Books
Newspapers
Magazines
Brochures
This web design tutorial is going to zoom in specifically to creating website layouts that are efficient.
Web Users Do not read
Web Users do not read, they scan. Research findings by Jakob Nielsen shows that users of the internet/web do not really read in depth but scan through. It has been analysed that these people read a particular web page in an F shaped pattern from left to right.
Go over to the following page for a more detailed explaination on the F-shaped pattern theory : Jakob Nielsen's F-shaped theory.
From this F-shaped theory, it is found that having in mind the following while planning your site's layout is important :
Users would only scan your text in general
Place the important stuff at the top as that is the most concentrated time spent
10 seconds is what it takes to make an impression on screen
Visit the site above for information on web usability, I highly recommend it as the guy is qualified and recommended by many magazines.
Plan, plan , plan
Planning is very important and I cant stress how further important it is. Some tips/steps on planning efficient layouts :
Get a paper and a pencil. (Yes it is worthy of a step because it is important ;))
Write out your target audience.
Research on the net regarding behavior patterns of your target audience. Include also reading patterns and attention spans.
Mark out areas on the "paper site" where you are almost sure your audience would not miss.
Put labels of the purpose of your site in these areas. (for example : content, sales, images. But STRICTLY NOT ADS.)
Block in other less important areas like navigation, ads, branding, logos.
Make sure your layout sort of conforms to the rough F-shaped pattern for your important stuff. Also, do not forget behavior patterns and such of your target audience.
Open up a graphic editing program like Photoshop and mark in what is on your paper on screen.
Your layout is done. You can move on to designing now!
Sealing the deal
To ensure that your site works as how you planned it to be, gather a group of friends, be it offline or online, and get them to go to your site. Ask them questions after that like "How easy was it to get to -insert important stuff here- ?" or "What did you wanted to do with the site?" and if the general consensus was what your site was intended for, then congratulations.
Otherwise, spend some more time researching and coming up with a final layout that works. It takes time yes, but think of the benefits you would be getting off it. After all, Time is of an investment. ;) I hope you've gained something from this web design tutorials.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
stu's colorgenics profile
| Name: | stu |
| Date: | Monday 6th 2011f June 2011 12:26:30 AM |
| Colorgenics Number: | 2/1/6/0/7/3/4/5/ |
You are a very sensitive person and you try hard (perhaps a little too hard) to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers. But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired and you are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. Stop trying so hard.
You are feeling very disillusioned at this time and you feel that you are being left out of things. You know - or you think you know - what you want, but you seem unable to exert the effort to achieve your objectives. As a consequence, you are feeling left out and neglected. You would like to be afforded greater security and fewer problems.
Circumstances are holding you back, forcing you to back off and to forgo all the pleasures, fun and games for the time being. But this is only a temporary situation and before you even know it the situation could change.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
You are being very dogmatic, insisting that there is to be absolutely no equivocation whatsoever about your achievements and accomplishments.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
colorgenics profile
Your Colorgenics Profile
| Name: | emily |
| Date: | Sunday 5th 2011f June 2011 06:57:08 AM |
| Colorgenics Number: | 1/5/2/3/6/4/0/7/ |
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.
You are a leader and possibly at this tine in a position of authority, but you are experiencing problems. You are not quite sure how to handle the present situation.
You are a perfectionist in everything that you put your hand to. You are demanding and very exacting in the standards you apply to your choice of colleagues and friends -perhaps you demand too much from people. That perfection you seek in a particular person is illusive - perhaps it does not even exist.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.
Friday, May 27, 2011
http://hypnoid.com/psytest2.html
my diagnosis:
Often concerned with right and wrong, and punctilious in expressing it, you are best represented by the Customs Agent or the IRS inspector. Initially seen by others as cold or uncaring, you are difficult for those more spontaneous members of society to understand. You are extremely stable, responsible and dependable. You manifest an amazing ability to concentrate on the issue at hand, and are difficult to distract from issues that are important. You manifest a great sense of loyalty to your employers and your government. You tend to show love through a display of committed works, believing that actions speak louder than words. You are also resistant to change and tend to believe that the old ways are best. If a behavior has been successful in the past, why would anyone want to change? You work best in a controlled environment.
Often concerned with right and wrong, and punctilious in expressing it, you are best represented by the Customs Agent or the IRS inspector. Initially seen by others as cold or uncaring, you are difficult for those more spontaneous members of society to understand. You are extremely stable, responsible and dependable. You manifest an amazing ability to concentrate on the issue at hand, and are difficult to distract from issues that are important. You manifest a great sense of loyalty to your employers and your government. You tend to show love through a display of committed works, believing that actions speak louder than words. You are also resistant to change and tend to believe that the old ways are best. If a behavior has been successful in the past, why would anyone want to change? You work best in a controlled environment.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
<table style="color: #000000; border: 1px solid #333333; margin: 5px; margin-left: 35px; padding: 0px; width: 440px;" cellspacing="0"><tr><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: 1px solid #333333; border-top: none; border-left: none; width: 210px; background: #ffddcc;">Dating Strengths</th><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-bottom: 1px solid #333333; width: 210px; background: #ffddcc;">Dating Weaknesses</th></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 3px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-right: 1px solid #333333; width: 210px; background: #ffffff; line-height: 20px; vertical-align: top;"><b>1.</b> Friendliness - 62.5%<br><b>2.</b> Flirtiness - 62.5%<br><b>3.</b> Varied Interests - 57.1%<br><b>4.</b> Sense of Humor - 57.1%<br><b>5.</b> Confidence - 55.6%<br></td><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 3px; margin: 0px; border: none; width: 210px; background: #ffffff; line-height: 20px; vertical-align: top;"><b>1.</b> Pessimism - 66.7%<br><b>2.</b> Appearance - 55.6%<br><b>3.</b> Financial Issues - 54.5%<br></td></tr></table><br>
<table style="color: #000000; border: 1px solid #333333; margin: 5px; margin-left: 35px; padding: 0px; width: 440px;" cellspacing="0"><tr><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-bottom: 1px solid #333333; background: #ffddcc; width: 430px;">Dating Strengths Explained</th></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Friendliness</b> - Your friendliness makes you approachable and fun to be around. A wide circle of friends also works to your advantage on the dating scene.<br><b>Flirtiness</b> - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities.<br><b>Varied Interests</b> - You don't limit yourself, and that's a dating asset. Your varied interests make you available and interesting to a wider range of guys.<br><b>Sense of Humor</b> - Guys are attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Be sure to put yours on display!<br><b>Confidence</b> - You are sure of yourself and confident of your abilities. Displays of confidence go a long way when attracting a date.<br>
</td></tr><tr><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: 1px solid #333333; border-left: none; border-right: none; background: #ffddcc; width: 430px;">Dating Weaknesses Explained</th></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Pessimism</b> - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook.<br><b>Appearance</b> - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a guy's attention.<br><b>Financial Issues</b> - Your financial situation is not in good shape, and this does not bode well for you on the dating scene. Try to get on top of your financial difficulties.<br>
</td></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-top: 1px solid #333333; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px; background: #ffddcc;">Take the <a href="http://www.datingdiversions.com/" target="_top">Dating Diversions</a> Latest <a href="http://www.datingdiversions.com/dating_sw_quiz.html" target="_top">Online Dating Quiz</a></td></table>
<table style="color: #000000; border: 1px solid #333333; margin: 5px; margin-left: 35px; padding: 0px; width: 440px;" cellspacing="0"><tr><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-bottom: 1px solid #333333; background: #ffddcc; width: 430px;">Dating Strengths Explained</th></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Friendliness</b> - Your friendliness makes you approachable and fun to be around. A wide circle of friends also works to your advantage on the dating scene.<br><b>Flirtiness</b> - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities.<br><b>Varied Interests</b> - You don't limit yourself, and that's a dating asset. Your varied interests make you available and interesting to a wider range of guys.<br><b>Sense of Humor</b> - Guys are attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Be sure to put yours on display!<br><b>Confidence</b> - You are sure of yourself and confident of your abilities. Displays of confidence go a long way when attracting a date.<br>
</td></tr><tr><th style="color: #000000; font: bold 13px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: 1px solid #333333; border-left: none; border-right: none; background: #ffddcc; width: 430px;">Dating Weaknesses Explained</th></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: left; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Pessimism</b> - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook.<br><b>Appearance</b> - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a guy's attention.<br><b>Financial Issues</b> - Your financial situation is not in good shape, and this does not bode well for you on the dating scene. Try to get on top of your financial difficulties.<br>
</td></tr><tr><td style="color: #000000; font: 12px arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; text-align: center; padding: 5px; margin: 0px; border: none; border-top: 1px solid #333333; background: #ffffff; width: 430px; line-height: 20px; background: #ffddcc;">Take the <a href="http://www.datingdiversions.com/" target="_top">Dating Diversions</a> Latest <a href="http://www.datingdiversions.com/dating_sw_quiz.html" target="_top">Online Dating Quiz</a></td></table>
<table width="330" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" border="0"><tr><td width="180"><font face="arial" size="-1"><b>Disorder</b></font></td><td width="120"><font face="arial" size="-1"><b>Rating</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/paranoid.html">Paranoid Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#990099" face="arial" size="-1">Moderate</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/schizoid.html">Schizoid Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#000099" face="arial" size="-1">Low</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/schizotypal.html">Schizotypal Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#000099" face="arial" size="-1">Low</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/antisocial.html">Antisocial Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#990099" face="arial" size="-1">Moderate</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/borderline.html">Borderline Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#990099" face="arial" size="-1">Moderate</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/histrionic.html">Histrionic Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#cc0033" face="arial" size="-1">High</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/narcissistic.html">Narcissistic Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#cc0033" face="arial" size="-1">High</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/avoidant.html">Avoidant Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#000099" face="arial" size="-1">Low</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/dependent.html">Dependent Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#cc0033" face="arial" size="-1">High</font></td></tr><tr><td><font face="arial" size="-1"><a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/ocd.html">Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder</a>:</font></td><td><font color="#ff0000" face="arial" size="-1">High</font></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center"><font color="#000000" face="arial" size="-1"><br>-- <a href="http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv">Personality Disorder Test - Take It!</a> --<br>-- <a href="http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html">Personality Disorders</a> --</font></td></tr></table><br>
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